Ive never seen this question here, and figured this would be a great forum for it so I could get some good opinions.
We all know that you have to be attracted to someone to be with them. Its pretty much a given.
How much do looks matter?
One way to look at this- Would You prefer someone that is beautiful, but you have nothing in common with, or someone who is average at best but rocks your socks personailty wise?
We all want that hot gf/bf or whatever. But, when it comes down to it, does it matter?
Another way to look at it, would you date someone/marry someone whom you thought others might be like "shes not that pretty" even if you did?
Weird questions, I hope I clarified enough
Looks matter a little bit to me. I'll still take the woman who's "average at best but rocks your socks personality wise." Almost all of my past g/f's have been around average for most people but I found them quite attractive.
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* Student of the University of Oklahoma. Go Sooners!
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I've been happily married for 17 years. When I met my wife for the first time, we were both dating other people. After our first date, I knew she was "the one". Later I found out she felt the same way. We've been a couple for 21 years, I'm very lucky to have found her.
Looks matter, but they aren't all that matters. Dating a sports illustrated swimsuit model may be fun, but not if you're in it for the long haul. There's only so many times a day you can screw, eventually you'll have to talk about something other than what she wants on her pizza.
And let me be the first to quote t-shirts and bumper stickers...
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
Beauty is only a lightswitch away.
She was a perfect 10 - She's a 4 that brought me a 6 pack.
She's a butter face. Her body is hot, but her face....(butter face? groan)
I'm sure there will be more in this thread.
.
John Wilken
2002 Cavalier
2.2 Vin code 4
Auto
I'm definitely an average looks but rocks your socks off kinda guy. I've dated some really cute girls in my time, but they were as dumb as a bag of hammers. there's no way I can go through that again.
Desert Tuners
“When you come across a big kettle of crazy, it’s best not to stir it.”
John, I think your sig sums it up perfectly.
I've dated girls that I'm not attracted to very much physically, but were amazing in every other respect...
I've dated girls that weren't much mentally but were a perfect 10 (if you've seen AG, you know what I call a 10
)...
If I had to put it down, I'll come down on the side of personality because everyone gets old and ugly at some point in their life... if you've got nothing else going for you than your looks, you're not doing too well.
Transeat In Exemplum: Let this stand as the example.
it seems to me that looks matter for guys lookin for girls than the other way around
but anyway, i would rather have a not so hot girl that "rocks my socks" than a real hottie that gives me schitte all the time
but she has to have a cute face and nice hair, i cant stand women with bad hair, sorry
o and you forgot
they all look the same bent over a barstool from behind
Looks do matter. I guess I'm a shallow piece of crap. I really liked a girl for a while, then realized she was lacking in the looks department, below average. After that realization, I thought of that whenever I saw that. Now, we occasionally talk.
looks matter for the initial attraction...but that's about all. i never ask a person to change themselves for me - i was attracted to their looks in the beginning, and i've never been interested in changing people.
now...if they want to change themselves for good reasons, i'll be all for it and be supportive during the entire process. if they feel they need to do something to make themselves look "better" - that's great, provided it's not physically damaging.
Chris, i think you're showing your age(or lack thereof). you're 19...you're not looking for a longterm thing, so you're more interested in the physical aspect than the emotional/mental. when you get older and are more ready to settle down with someone, you'll see her for who she REALLY is, rather than what she looks like.
Usually before there is any other attraction, there has to be one of the physical for one to approach another. I don't think too many guys look at a woman and assume she has a great personality, he looks at her and notices something about her physical atttributes that may or may not attract him. So I vote for yes, looks matter...but not as much as being able to fall in love with the personality of that person.
"Speak the truth, and leave immediately after"
"The urge to save Humanity is almost ALWAYS a false front for the urge to rule"
"He who knoweth things as they are and not as they are said or seem to be, he truly is wise, and is taught of God more than of men."
to me looks matter to some point but its not all that important. the girl im w/ now isnt the hottest girl (nice body though) and at first i was like ugh shes really not that great but the more i hung out w/ her the more i got to know about her and shes a really great person so i tend to look past the looks thing now. its still kind of important but not all that important
Looks aren't everything but they help Sooooo much !!!
Semper Fi SAINT. May you rest in peace.
This is an unfair fact pattern. You're examining two variables, physical attractiveness and personality, however in one case the trait is missing, but in the other case rises to the level of 'average'. Make the hypo either: Pure physical attractiveness and no personality vs. no physical attractiveness and pure personality or Pure physical attractiveness and average personality vs. Pure personality vs. average physical attractiveness and you might see different results...
Looks do matter.
While a man looks for more than just looks, and realizes they degrade over time, a boy will overlook this fact and will go on looks alone. The thing boils down to total attraction factor (TAF), which is an average score, weighted by importance based on what the holder values and then averaged out.
And in all respects, Men are looking at looks. Not so much for an arm ornament, but for physical qualities of the woman, combined with the physical qualities he possesses, that will produce kids that have the same physical qualities.
Ladies, we can't help it--it's how we're programmed.
That being said, the same parallel drawn off of women is the "money" and "golddigger" issues. Yes, women are attracted to more money because of the subconsious need to get a man that will be the best provider, but the difference is a woman will look for more than just the bottom line at the bank account, but a girl will look at just the bottom line and what the guy is sporting.
Where this comes into play for men and women as opposed to buys and girls is not so much the leniency of looks and the ability to support a family, but the efficiency thereof. As a man, I want a woman that looks good, but i also want a woman that will not waste away, and stop looking good because she "has me" or the like. I want a woman that will take care of herself. And I really don't think that is asking too much.
So, if you ask me if i'd want a 10 that smokes, doesn't really work out, and has the attitude that since we're an item, she doesn't have to take care of herself, or a 6-8 that takes damned good care of herself, i'd take the 6-8 in a heartbeat.
In the same token, most women i know will go for the they guy not making the big bucks but can actually budget, save, and not squander money on something trivial and plan for his future as opposed to one that's pulling down the serious quiddage but blows it on on needless tat.
Which is the biologial end of it.
Goodbye Callisto & Skađi, Hello Ishara:
2022 Kia Stinger GT2 AWD
The only thing every single person from every single walk of life on earth can truly say
they have in common is that their country is run by a bunch of fargin iceholes.
^^^^^
I swear I heard that on the Discovery Channel
Looks are important. Becuase if they are not attractive, then what is going to draw you in?
There are some girls that are in my school, total knockouts, but you spend 5 min talking (or attempting conversation) and you feel like you've lost about 50 IQ points, while there are others who are not as good looking, and you can talk for hours. But it all depends on what type of personality meshes with your personality.
Innitial "gut level" attraction does matter. Men and Women are innitially attracted to very different things.
Men, we are naturally attracted to looks, its how we are ladies. We are attracted to a woman who is going to produce healthy, prosperous offspring to carry on our name, we spot this right away by looking at the WHR( waist to hip ratio), proportions and symmetry . In general a WHR of 0.67 to 1.18 in females is attractive to men, which is a smaller waist with a bigger hip.
Naturally women are more attracted to a man who is going to fit into the provider / protector role, strong (physically) and taller than them. Looks are still a factor with symmetry and proportion coming into play but are not as important in female - male attraction as they are in male - female attraction. This is why when you ask most females for a single quality there must be present for them to be attracted, it is most often "confidence".
Quote:
As a man, I want a woman that looks good, but i also want a woman that will not waste away, and stop looking good because she "has me" or the like. I want a woman that will take care of herself. And I really don't think that is asking too much.
Exactly! I agree and don't think its asking too much at all. It says alot of things about a persons general personality. This is often why alot of us guys look at a girls mother who we are dating, not that she is certain to turn out just like her mother but.... there will be alot of similarities down the road.
Innitial attraction has to be there, but if thats all there is in the relationship... the relationship is bound to be unsuccesful. Personality, and how well the two are able to grow / nuture their relationship is where it gets to the next level in finding a perfect match.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, thats as good as they are going to feel all day. ~ Dean Martin
Nope, just gleaned through Psych sources, and just general reading on the subject, but regardless, the result is the same.
And graden is also dead on whith his observations. I will tag something onto this that is practical:
When you're considering a woman, consider the age spread, then look at her mom, when she is that age, she will likely look similar, now picture her and you that old (respectively). Can you still stand to be with her?
If so, you're golden.
Goodbye Callisto & Skađi, Hello Ishara:
2022 Kia Stinger GT2 AWD
The only thing every single person from every single walk of life on earth can truly say
they have in common is that their country is run by a bunch of fargin iceholes.
[quote=Keeper of the Light™]When you're considering a woman, consider the age spread, then look at her mom, when she is that age, she will likely look similar, now picture her and you that old (respectively). Can you still stand to be with her?
If so, you're golden.
UUUUUGH! You just made me think about sleeping with my mother-in-law!
Man, that's just too "Springer show" for me!
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I'm glad you said they'd "likely look similar", because it's not always true. We have pictures of my mother-in-law when she was my wife's age now (late 30's), and they're way different. My mother-in-law was fat and always had a scowl on her face, my wife is thin and smiles easily. We have 1 picture of my mother-in-law smiling, it was her wedding day. She was on her second bottle of booze at the time of the photo. Other than that, she was an ogre.
John Wilken
2002 Cavalier
2.2 Vin code 4
Auto
I said similar, not exact for a reason...
Given my g/f temperment, whe she hits 54 (her mom's age), Most likely she'll be taller, and a lot paler (her mom's a sun bunny) and her facial structure is more similar to her dad's while her body style is her mom's. Considering that her mom is in very good shape, i think if we last, it's golden
It's the same for men, if you want to know what he looks like, look at his dad and they'lll be similar. So, according to Miska, when i'm 62 i'll look like a non-bald Sean Connery...if i grow a beard
hehehe
Goodbye Callisto & Skađi, Hello Ishara:
2022 Kia Stinger GT2 AWD
The only thing every single person from every single walk of life on earth can truly say
they have in common is that their country is run by a bunch of fargin iceholes.
Red X--will check at home.
Goodbye Callisto & Skađi, Hello Ishara:
2022 Kia Stinger GT2 AWD
The only thing every single person from every single walk of life on earth can truly say
they have in common is that their country is run by a bunch of fargin iceholes.
okay
if the hood was my hair, maybe...
no, come to think of it i might look like Christopher Lee as Sarumon
Goodbye Callisto & Skađi, Hello Ishara:
2022 Kia Stinger GT2 AWD
The only thing every single person from every single walk of life on earth can truly say
they have in common is that their country is run by a bunch of fargin iceholes.
They do matter to a point. If I had a choice between someone who looked like Vin Diesel (yummm) but who's personality was that of a rock... or someone who looked ok or average, but personality wise was a near perfect match for me (since there is no such thing as perfect)... I'd take the latter.
There are some things that are very important though... like was said... a man must also take care of himself. Ya know, shower, shave,... stay clean. Cleanliness is important, and making an effort to take care of himself. Someone who has some direction in life, and is willing to put in equal effort to make the relationship work.... etc... etc...
I've dated guys who at first, I thought weren't much to look at. But as I got to know them, found that I found them more and more attractive as I got to know them, their personalities, and their likes and dislikes, etc.
Quote:
They do matter to a point. If I had a choice between someone who looked like Vin Diesel (yummm) but who's personality was that of a rock...
Um...Vin Diesel does have the personality of a rock
Goodbye Callisto & Skađi, Hello Ishara:
2022 Kia Stinger GT2 AWD
The only thing every single person from every single walk of life on earth can truly say
they have in common is that their country is run by a bunch of fargin iceholes.
[quote=Keeper of the Light™]
Quote:
They do matter to a point. If I had a choice between someone who looked like Vin Diesel (yummm) but who's personality was that of a rock...
Um...Vin Diesel does have the personality of a rock
[quote=Keeper of the Light™]
Quote:
They do matter to a point. If I had a choice between someone who looked like Vin Diesel (yummm) but who's personality was that of a rock...
Um...Vin Diesel does have the personality of a rock
took the words out of my mouth!
Im a Xbox 360 fanboy...and damn proud of it!!
