...your 3400 motor swap costs almost as much as your car
...a guy with a Civic says, "Whats that?" Then say, "Really they have V6's?"
...the bottom of your doors has rust coming in on the underside
...a guy in an integra says, "Wow you can really lower that thing!?"
...you can fit into really narrow parking spaces
...someone says, "They really make aftermarket parts for that car."
...you have to travel halfway across the world to purchase a cold air intake
...you made you own cold air intake by cutting up muffler piping or Honda
intakes you bought from Ebay
...they make a grand total of 3 body kits for your model of car
...stock 3rd gen Z-24 rims are considered an upgrade
...you need a spare part, you can walk in any direction to the nearest neighbor and rip what you need off 1 of the 3 junked 2nd gens they have for parts
...you ever purchased an entire car as a parts car, and it turns out to be in better shape the the one you're driving
...you have a puddle of water on your floor from a leak somewhere
...someone says, "Thats really an old cavalier i thought they were all ugly?!"
...your friends as you what car you drive. You explain to them the importance and differences of a 2nd gen Z so they don't think you're rolling in an old rusty VL or an ugly 3rd gen
...you can pass a 4wd SUV doing 50 in a blizzard on the highway
...people question you as to what your car actually is, since they've never seen anything like it before
...you know exactly what 3400 stands for
...breaking into the 13's is extremely rare
...you know what J-Body stands for
...you call your j-body love a hobby because you spend as much time repairing the body and other age issues as much as you spend driving it
...you don't just have surface rust on your rockers under your sideskirts, they just arn't there anymore
...your odometer reads about 200,000 and you consider that decent mileage
...you can look through a parts catalogue covering ALL makes and models and not pick out a single part for your car
...you park next to a BMW as a theft deterrant and don't bother locking your car
...people think you drive a fox body Mustang at first glance
...you sell your aftermarket rims seperately from the car and get more for the rims
...your sunroof leaks but you don't worry about it because it's winter and its frozen shut
...people ask you where you got your bodykit, hood, and spoiler from. They stare blankly at you when you try to explain it comes that way
...people ask you if its a Mustang, even though it has a Chevrolet symbol in plain site
...you put a Flomaster on and it sounds beefer then most V8's
...your beater is newer then youre Cavalier
...you realize with all the money in repairs you've done, you could of had a nice down payment on a Corvette
...when there are no cup holders with in arms reach
...you know what a 3x00 is, and a hybrid motor are
...other people move things in their engine compartment to look nice. Then you move your coils so the damn car runs right
...people laughingly ask you why you like driving a Cavalier. You turn dead serious and respond with the famous biker line, "If you have to ask then I can't explain it to you."
...you test drive a new Mazda 6 with a 220HP V6 and 5-speed. You tell the salesman you're impressed with the car but it doesn't have as much power as your Cavalier. He then is shocked to hear that your Cavalier has a V6. Then you test drive a G6 GTP with a 3.9 and a 6-speed and complement the car by saying it drives like your Cavalier. The salesman is insulted.
...you snicker at the guy forking over wads of cash for parts for his Honda as you leave the parts store with a new brake rotor for $11.99
...your taillights rattle from a stock stereo
...you go to the junkyard to find performance parts
...you have more under the hood than the car is worth
...people ask if theres a v8 under the hood and its really a 6
...the widest tire u can fit is 225's
...you can't fit more than 2 girls and YOU in the back seat
...you say, "I drive a Cavalier, but not one of the girly ones."
...you have a personal foot bath in your floorboard everytime it rains
...you swap parts from other j-bodies to make yours "Unique".
...people think you have some sort of import when you say "I own a Z24."
...you think the newer models give your car a bad name
...you read a repair manual while sitting on the can
...still having mint original factory paint is unheard of. And your just happy you still have all your original body panels, for now
...you tend to ignore that tick coming from your engine "cause all 2.8's have a little tick"
...it makes you nervous to drive past a cop, because your worried about getting pulled for a loud assed exhaust... and it's stock
...you take off your body kit and start crying from all the rust you thought you didn't have
...you think Chevy Cavaliers from the late eighties and early nineties are HOT
...you find yourself in the hospital with a strained back from changing the heater core
...you go to a performance store and ask them if they have parts for a 3.1 V6, and they look at you like you have a third nipple on your forehead
..."Buicks" are potential performance part donor cars
...the left side of the driver's seat no longer holds you in place and you can just roll out of the car when you open the door.
...PT Cruiser rims actually look custom
...your sexy girlfriend says she adores your car and wants one too, you know she is lieing, but you buy her one anyway
...your newest car sits in the driveway while your 20 year old J gets garaged
...you mod it instead of your H22 Prelude that could make it into the 14s easier than your 2nd gen. Because you don't want to be a modded honda owner
...you wanna swap your stock v6 for a 3x00 because its easier to change the pvc valve
...your driver's side door post is so loose the door doesnt close properly
...your digital gauges shut off when you turn on the headlights
...when you realize your car is as old as "The Simpsons" and say damn, it's still fresh and innovative after all these years
...you wait for the value of your car to go up because all the cartoons from the 80's (care bares, strawberry shortcake, heman) are back in style
...you can't pull you car over the snow pile at the end of the drive way because your worried about beaking something
...your front speaker grilles fall off under hard acceleration due to wheel-hop
...it cost almost $10 for each burnt out light in ur cluster and say, "I know how fast I am going by sound anyways"
...you have 3 parts cars
...you bypass your heator core rather than fixing it
...your neighbors tell you to keep down the noise, even though you have a stock exhaust
...you consider spray bombing your car in the hope that it will actually look better
...you need a new quater window trim piece, you can wait till night, walk 2 blocks over and rip it off one of your neighbours cars
...you laugh when some one tries to offer you a free bottle of car wax, and all you own is your 2nd gen
...you don't have rust on your car and you take it as a gift from the gods
...you swap a 3x00, peoplethink it must have been hard
...(if it's auto) you shift through the gears so ppl think that ur car is stick.
...you're 2 miles from arriving somewhere and people there can already hear you
...you shop at the junkyard more than AutoZone
...you rather go to the junkyard than the mall
...a Honda owner asks, "Do you run premium too?" after you beat him
...you touch the floor after a rainstorm and don't feel any puddles, you throw a celebration
...you see a Cavalier that has rust free 1/4's and fall in love
...your seat rails rust and can't move your seat foward or back
...the motor dies its cheaper to buy another one then fix the one you have
...you pull into Walmart parking lot and see three hot chicks climbing out of a mint second gen Cavalier and you spend more time checking the car out than you do the girls
...you nearly get out-driven by a hot blonde on the go cart track. Only later to see her fly past you on the highway in a red PH-2 and fall helplessly in love
...you have people in the back saying, "Can you move the seat up more im squashed in"
...you have to put your scalding hot coffee between your legs and burn yourself because your car doesnt have cupholders you can reach
...your car has power windows and locks however you're friends brand new cavalier does not
...your speedometer needle bounces up and down and you can never really accurately tell how fast you are going
...your car is the most noticable out of all of the other cars in the parking lot.
...you play checkers on your stock P-1 rims on the side of the road instead of changing the damned tire
...your at the track and you rev to redline forgetting the car stops making power at 4500rpm
...you slam the door and can see dust poof up out of the rear window speaker holes
...a 15 minute trip to the store turns into a 3 hour trip because you have a bad tourqe converter
...you know the Vin letters, M means 3100, W means 2.8, T means 3.1 and V means 3.1 Turbo
...you know the RPO Codes : MG2, LA1, FE3, LH0, LB6, MD9, MK7.
...you know the terms :Hm-282, 7730, 7727, TH125C
...you have to order a clutch from canada to get one with good customer Service
...you know that your braking sucks after the 1/4 miles unless it's been upgraded somehow
...your dad harasses you about it not being a real muscle car and you argue it's the car that came between sport compact and muscle
...you try to install a lambo door kit and end out killing someone and getting charges pressed against you since the doors are so heavy
...your stock paper cone Delco 6x9s give your buddy with a 10" sub a run for his money
...you lower your car by 1 1/2 inches and your lower then your 3rd Gen friend who lowered his 1 3/4
...you'd buy a spotless 2nd Gen at any price if you won the lottery
...you have wet dreams about putting your car up on a hoist and seeing nothing but a spotless unibody underneath
...you go to show off by doing doughnuts in a snowy parking lot and snap your e-brake cable
...you tint your tail lights/buy smoked covers since that is the only off-shelf way to customize your tail lights
...you see a 3-series BMW and wish you could steal the headlights and dump the rest of the car
...you have bar-leak, stop-leak and other liquid sealants in one or more of your engines fluid systems because it's too much trouble to fix it
...your car has 200,000+ miles and is an automatic and you can still wipe Honda Civic Si 5 speeds off the map.
...your 3rd Gen buddies make fun of your old car and you shut them up by saying, "At least I don't drive a **** bubble!"
...you can smoke your front tires on any surface while your friend with his 3rd Gen 2.2 automatic Cav has trouble doing it in the rain on worn out tires.
...you'd give your left testicle to get your hands on a cupholder that isn't broken
...spray paint is considered a valuable customizing tool
...you fold down your rear seats and can haul more @!#$ then a small pick up
...an upgrade means its fixed
...you crank your stereo on the highway to drown out the wind noise from your side mirrors.
...you make a koi pond for good luck in your spare tire well because its always full of water.
...you have, at some point in time, have had a 'DTM style' stainless muffler on your car.
...your stock exhuast size is considered an upgrade for most other cars and your upgraded 2.5" exhuast system is similarly used on small desiels.
...you buy a $400 alarm system to protect your stereo, not your car.
...you shave all the factory decals of your car, not for an appearance upgrade, but because you don't want anybody to know what the **** it really is.
...side skirts aren't for appearance but to cover up the fact that there are two long **** holes were rocker panels are supposed to be.
...tilt steering means that the steering wheel has locked in place finally.
...the car spends more time in the shop/impound yard then u do driving it.
...you get pulled over for littering when parts fall off
...the bass hits and pieces of rust start falling out of your headliner because the sunroof support is rotten
...your at a light and you have the balls to race anything even that new Camaro z28 knowing you won't win but you try anyway!
...you try to jack your car up and you hear crunching
...you ask about parts from other cars and somewhere in the question is, "Can i make this fit?"
...no parts stores have a shift knob that will fit your flat rod shifter
...your car is almost 20 years old and you can still chirp into 3rd on the stock engine.
...you actually feel bad for beating on it so you get it a new part to make you feel better
...your car looks like a hot-rod in reverse
...people ask, "Why didn't you lower the front?"
...you get in your car and its -20 outside and there is frost inside on the windshield and not on the outside of the windshield
...you see another J car, and you can tell the year, and phase, and make and model while passing it.
...you try every permutation and model year of Z, Z-24, Z24, Cavalier, Sunbird, Skyhawk and Cimmaron on the eBay search engine at least once a week
...you drive nice and slow under bridges just to hear your stock exhaust drown out a fart can civic beside you
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You know you drive a Sunbird when:
...you swap Cavalier parts onto it so its cooler
...you know you drive a Sunbird when you say its a Cavalier to up the resale value
...someone asks you why their car bucks and stalls at traffic lights and you can sum the answer up in three letters. And, you can tell them rather than selling it for 200 dollars, you can unplug a wire and have it fixed. Or you just say, "Yeah, I hear thats a common problem, seems to be quite expensive.. I'll take it though."
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You know you drive 3rd gen when you want a second gen as your nice ride
If you don't know the answer to that question you don't belong on the JBO.
This one's sad, cause I've done it before waitin for the tire guy to show up.... blew a tire and forgot I didn't have a spare.
