Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and I noticed that
the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed
a little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a
spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had
spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well," he explained, "The restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to
revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded
that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a
drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our
personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to
the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it
with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen
instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."
I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the
waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same
string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the
waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right
there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice, "Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in
the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull
it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands
shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."
I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."
R.I.P. JessE Gerard 7.11.87 - 1.25.08
The Radiation Nation Facebook Twitter Twisted Metal Alliance
OMG is all I can say
That is funny right there I dont care who you are
So a bear is chasing a rabbit through the forest.
The rabbit runs past a magic lamp and accidently rubs it.
The bear does the same just after the rabbit.
A genie comes out and stops them both in their tracks.
"Bear. Rabbit.. I will grant you three wishes each. You can wish for anything in this world.
Bear, let's start with you since you are bigger than Rabbit."
"Okay" says the Bear. "I been lonely for a while now so can you make ALL the bears in this forest female for me?"
Poof!
Wish granted.
"Now it's your turn Rabbit." says the Genie.
"I've always wanted a motorcycle." says the Rabbit.
Poof!
Wish granted.
"Alright Bear, what's your second wish?", says the Genie.
"We'll, if you can do that first wish then i'd like ALL the bears in this country to be female just for me", says the bear.
Poof!
Wish granted.
"And you Rabbit, what's your second wish?" says the Genie.
"I'd like a helmet for my motorcycle," says the Rabbit.
Poof!
Wish Granted.
"For your last wish Bear, what would you like?", says the Genie.
"Hell, if it's that easy. Can you make ALL the bears in the world female?", asks the Bear.
Poof!
Wish granted
"And for your last wish Rabbit?" asks the Genie.
"You see this bear, Genie? I want you to make him gay..." says the Rabbit...
*MSR 190 wheels not shown in sig.
http://www.myspace.com/fpsunfire
5 seconds to find another street...
lol
RIP JESSE GERARD.....Youll always be in my thoughts and prayers...
